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I'm in bed wearing my flannel pjs and socks covered by a flannel sheet, down comforter, and a quilt freezing.
I should go to sleep but I'm just not ready yet something is keeping my awake I'm excited and a little jumpy. I feel like I need to do something not litterally something right now but something with my life. I realized a few days ago that I'm almost 30. Really, almost 30. I almost fell over.
I feel a deep and burning shame about my life right now, our living situation, the way I manage our money, how I parent my children. I need to change things, I need to change several things. I'm taking full responsibility here because it is mine to bear. I put it to God this afternoon to help me to show me what I need to do because I can't keep living this way anymore and I feel like he's answering me. I feel God working in my life in a big way and I'm excited about it, giddy, almost is the word I would use to describe it.