I refuse.

Posted by J on Tuesday, September 18, 2012.

Today it is raining, and usually when it's raining my guts feel like they are being twisted, or stabbed, or both. Right now it's both, and I would love to curl into a ball and sip peppermint tea until it goes away, but I refuse.

 I have stuff I have to do today. I went and picked up the rest of the things I need for my daughter's birthday party, I stopped at Sally's Beauty Supply to get my Aunt a Styrofoam wig head (don't ask). I also have to be at work in about an hour. I'm in pain, it starts in my gut but right now my entire body aches.

 I refuse to give in to this. I have to be stronger than this disease because people know that I have it (and I'm forthright about it) they expect me to be weak, I can take a lot. It's these days, these days that are rainy and painful that make me appreciate the days where there is no pain. I also know that this is temporary, the pain never lasts forever.

So today I will drink lots of water, because although I don't feel like doing that at all, I need to. I will eat good, healing food, and I will go to work and distract myself with things that I need to do. I will take elevators and sometimes I will have to breathe like I'm in labor when a pain hits me but I will get through it like I always have before.

I refuse to stay still, I refuse to curl into a ball and ignore the day.

Sorry Crohn's, I got this.

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