We took flowers to the grave. All the flowers they sell for "memorial" just weren't right so I took it upon myself to make them. I'm very proud of the bow, I think Grandma would have also appreciated that I was completely covered in glitter when I was done.
 |
| Flowers for my Grandma's Grave |
I could really use that full time job now :-) I'm ready, for real.
More tomorrow. I have much to say.
Love,
Jos
I was in so much pain yesterday, to be honest it was probably something I
ate (or drank, Starbs!) but today I feel better. I'm tired and sore
(like I did a bunch of crunches) it was so strange, even my hands hurt. I
ended up taking 2 extra strength Tylenol (I try to avoid taking
anything at all because it can aggravate my condition) that took the
edge off a bit, usually it makes me fall asleep, I've become that
sensitive to meds, and they did make me a little tired I think, it
might have just been the day because all the ladies in the office were
yawning. I was seriously talking to
God while I was driving in to work because I was in so much pain. It was
AWFUL and I don't want to do that again so needless to say I'm fully
100% back on SCD now. I'm baking coconut flour bread as I'm typing
(yes it's almost 11PM) and making another batch of yogurt.
Stupid Crohn's
but I know that this was a sign or a warning or something. I've been
cheating with sugar (no gluten, never going to eat gluten again) since
April. It started off with a Cadbury Creme Egg, I just couldn't resist.
Now, I wasn't eating sugar right out of
the jar or anything like that but I was eating ice cream (almost) every day, I was
eating candy almost every day (like m&m's, sour patch kids etc) and I knew this was
going to happen. I knew it. I told myself every day that I was playing
with fire but I just kept doing it.
Sugar is a fickle mistress. We have a love/hate relationship.
Today it is raining, and usually when it's raining my guts feel like they are being twisted, or stabbed, or both.
Right now it's both, and I would love to curl into a ball and sip peppermint tea until it goes away, but I refuse.
I have stuff I have to do today. I went and picked up the rest of the things I need for my daughter's birthday party, I stopped at Sally's Beauty Supply to get my Aunt a Styrofoam wig head (don't ask). I also have to be at work in about an hour. I'm in pain, it starts in my gut but right now my entire body aches.
I refuse to give in to this. I have to be stronger than this disease because people know that I have it (and I'm forthright about it) they expect me to be weak, I can take a lot. It's these days, these days that are rainy and painful that make me appreciate the days where there is no pain. I also know that this is temporary, the pain never lasts forever.
So today I will drink lots of water, because although I don't feel like doing that at all, I need to. I will eat good, healing food, and I will go to work and distract myself with things that I need to do. I will take elevators and sometimes I will have to breathe like I'm in labor when a pain hits me but I will get through it like I always have before.
I refuse to stay still, I refuse to curl into a ball and ignore the day.
Sorry Crohn's, I got this.
 | ||
| My coconut flour banana bread! |
I'm fairly certain of what my kids are going to want for xmas and now I have no idea if I should buy them now (some are on sale!) or just wait and maybe find myself having to perform a Christmas miracle on ebay.
I hate not having a game plan.
So here's what I think are going to be super hard to find come Christmas time:
I did not work today and now I keep thinking it's Saturday! It's Wednesday.
Right?
Okay it is. I took my Middle Girlie to get her ears periced today, she sat through it. I was so proud of her. I was afraid that she'd have the first one done and then freak out and refuse to get the second one punched but she did it, then I bought her a ton of earrings (that she can't wear for 4-6 weeks...).
So did you read that up there? That I did not work today? I got a job. Well I actually had a job perviously (working at a hotel) but I quit that one pretty quick when this other one came up. I don't generally do that but this was an oppertunity I had to jump on and so I did.
I'm currently working in an office (I get to wear dress clothes!) and I write all.day.long. I write then I edit what I wrote, then I print it out, and edit it again, email it over to the next office, and then edit more, and write again.
It's freaking fantastic. It's only a temporary job but I love it and I have decided to be present enough to enjoy ever minute of it. I'm totally nerding out over all the things I get to do! Power Point Presentations!
Ahh!
Tomorrow I go in again and I'm super excited to go despite the fact that my brother, SIL, and squishy baby nephew will be here visiting while I'm off at work; but I will see them when I get home and then we will have a hot dog roast, I will feed the baby jello, and watch the dogs wrestle.
Tomorrow is going to be a fantastic day!
