Ramble On

It has been pointed out to me that xmas in our house has gotten way out of hand. The children got about 18 gifts each, that included everything from Santa, us (mom & dad), and my parents. My brother also brought them two things each.

So I guess they each got 20 things. It didn't seem like so much to me because they got a lot of books and clothes. I love books and clothes and those are things that get a lot of use around here and I wrap everything individually, I love the look of a huge pile of wrapped gifts.

As you can tell I was offended by my husband's comments. In one way I feel like he was in a bad mood but in another way maybe he's right. I'm still smarting about it and it's been nearly three months now.

I am not shopping all year 'round this year as it leads to way-too-much-stuff and the kids don't really know what they want until closer to the event anyway.

True confession: we spent over 2000 dollars on xmas gifts this year. We buy for 20 people (including ourselves and the children). We just do not have the means to keep doing this. We need to cut it in at least half this year for sure.

I always second guess myself "is this enough" for certain people. Frankly, it hurts and stresses me out to even think about spending all that money on people that really don't appreciate the time or effort it takes to pick something out for them. I'm seriously considering doing the cop-out of gift cards for most of them and I've been admittedly against gift cards for years. I'm just tired of it all, just so very tired.

I really want it to be different this coming year especially for the kids it was so so stressful this year, for me, dealing with my husband's celiac diagnoses, and being expected to bake twelve kinds of cookies (not to mention pies, and cream puffs!) with no help. I didn't even make sugar cookies with my children. I also had a baby in September of last year so between breastfeeding and everything else i just feel like i lost it and I hate that I'm so upset with myself about it. I hate beating myself up about things like that and I do it all the time.

I hurt. I need to sleep.