Ramble On

I snapped this picture then two days later we had four inches of snow.

My kids are out trick or treating with their dad, I'm sick with a cold that has decided to settle into my throat. I sound like a witch, very fitting for tonight!

I just have had a bubble bath and now I'm going to go make some soup and settle down on the couch and watch some episodes of The Haunted, something I'm not allowed to watch when the kids are awake. Since the TV is usually occupied this time of year by my dear husband (football) I'll settle for anything I can get. We'll probalby get three trick or treaters. I really want to eat a peanut butter cup, but I won't, don't want to fall into that trap. I don't want to get cocky since I've been feeling so well Crohn's wise and mess everything up!

Happy Halloween I hope your night is frightfully wonderful!

Tomorrow is November, and I will start to flip out about Christmas. Ta!

I keep meaning to write but then I sit down here and I find I really have nothing to say. Things are going well, as well as can be expected for my little family. My kids have colds, but they are okay. I'm still in remission, thank God though I'm having some issues with my throat, I feel like it's been swollen for months now I go to the Doctor next week so I'm going to have him look at that. Hopefully it won't involve antibiotics but with my luck I'll have to have my tonsils removed and eat ice for a couple of days. I heard it's awful to get down while you're older but honestly compared to Crohn's, depression, and giving birth, I think I'll be okay. As I've mentioned before my health is a priority, because if I'm not well I won't be able to properly care for my children.

I suppose though, that I'm getting what I wanted most: a normal, "boring" life. I love it, but there's not much to write about, at least not in a way I've figured out yet.

Once again I'm blogging from the toliet, yes I have pants on. I'm just sitting here while I have a kid in the tub this is really the only time I get to write. Since she's turned 3 Miss Lady has not let me out of her site. She will completely ignore me while I'm in a room with her but as soon as I leave said room, she starts screaming for me.

It's been a long couple of weeks.

My sister-in-law was due to have her baby last Friday, she is however, still pregnant. I can't wait for this little guy to arrive! I'm finally going to be an Aunt! I'm not really sure how significant that actually is but I am super excited for it!

Been knitting, a lot, so much that my hands are being to chap and crack. It's painful I hate this time of year when the heat starts coming on 1) because it's expensive and 2) because it dries me out. Oy. I also have patches of dry skin under my eyes. I guess I've suddenly become allergic to my face wash (cold cream) so I switched to just plain old Dove soap and it seems to be clearing up. At one point the skin was cracked and bleeding, I looked a little like a zombie.

Oh and I cut my hair!

It is so hard to take care of the house and the kids when you need a fork lift to get out of bed each morning. That is why it is so important to spread awareness about Depression during October, Depression Awareness Month. I would surely like my husband to have more awareness, although generally, he is patient and sympathetic with me.

What motivates me to write about Depression Awareness Month is my daughter. She called me from her dorm and said, “Mom, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat; I can’t focus on my homework. What’s the point of all this anyway?” I had hoped none of my children would experience depression. I’ll have to revise my hope.

While searching for information on depression in young adults, I learned that 44% of college students have depressive symptoms. As my daughter would say, “OMG.” How is it possible that so many young people, close to half,  are depressed when they’re just out of life’s starting gate? I find it outrageous that suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students. It can’t be right to ignore these statistics.

How Bad Does It Have to Get?

Think about it; if 44% of university students had the flu all at once, it likely would be labeled an epidemic. I think if people realized how big this problem is, there would be more concern; or, at least the start of more concern.

The other day my ten-year old said, “Mom, you’re such a crab,” and that was to my face. My husband calls our life boring, and my mother thinks I’m lazy. There is a little truth to the laziness part, but that’s not why the laundry is piled up. I do not want my daughter to be afraid of people finding out she is depressed.

That is why I am thrilled about Depression Awareness Month. It won’t fix the problem, but it is a start. People need to know what the symptoms are, what resources are available, and those that are suffering deserve to feel accepted.

As for myself, I want people to know that I do not expect to be babied, and do not feel sorry for myself. I want people who are suffering unnecessarily to find help. I want to purchase my medication without feeling a tinge of shame.

There Is An Easy Way To Help

There are some people who are doing more to spread depression awareness than just talking, like me. Help for Depression, a depression resource, and a nonprofit called To Write Love On Her Arms, have joined forces this October to raise money for depression awareness.

If you can click with a mouse, you can make a difference. Go to the Help for Depression Facebook page and click the ‘Like’ button. For each new ‘Like’ given between October 1st through the 15th, $1.00 is donated to their $15,000 goal. Please take a few seconds to click and contribute.

About the Author

Jacqueline is a creative writer, published poet, and has an MA in counseling psychology. Her education is backed by 12 years experience as a licensed clinical counselor. 

This article from Boing Boing was shared with me on Face Book. I knew the story, I've been following Reid's progress and blog for over a year now, every since I was up late in my hospital room googling Crohn's, aka: what the hell was wrong with me. This article is amazing and I hope that it gets a lot more people on board with this diet. Yes it's hard (at first)  but it's for your health, is there a better reason to just give it a chance? Honestly, what is there to lose?

That's the point I was at 15 months ago right after my diagnosis, granted, that is not a very long time in the grand scheme of things but when I look at where I am now to where I was... I don't ever want to go back to feeling that way. My main motivation has always been caring for my children; which is why I knew I had to try everything I could to get well,  but now that I am feeling better than I ever have in my life,  I'm realizing that maybe I can have an actual life outside of this disease and outside of my role as a mother.

I think that's why I'm so excited for my knitting designs going out into the world. I created them on my own, no one helped me, no one felt badly for me because of my condition, people that are using my patterns probably don't even know that I have this disease.

I want to be an advocate for this disease, (or my combo of diseases, depression and Crohn's) but I don't want it/them to define me. I'm not sure how I would even define myself, this actually kept me up last night, I'm older now that I ever though I'd be, and now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing with myself! It's a crazy feeling, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it yet.

I finished my latest design, Winter Child. I'm planning on sending out the sample just as soon as the weather clears enough for me to get some good pictures of the blanket and all the details. I'm super happy with how the blanket turned out! Knit in superwash wool, Knit Picks Swish in worsted and DK weight, it's warm and washable. Perfect for a new baby (and mama!).

crappy picture took on the floor of my hallway :-)

 I really wanted to create a gender-netural pattern and this is what I came up with. I have a winter baby myself (my eldest child was born Dec 13). Did you notice my subtle nod to Harry Potter? While I was knitting that little burgendy and gold hat I was chanting "Go Go Gryffindor" in my head. Now I really want to go read those books again.

Pattern should be up for sale (with much better photos!) within the next month. I'm completely excited, giddy, nervous, all of those things.