Ramble On

I'm feeling awful today, actually the past two days. I woke up nauseous, which hasn't happened to me in nearly two years, since my last flare.

You know where this is going right?

So now I'm getting upset that I'm going into a flare, we have plans to travel this weekend, I feel like crap. I'm nauseous, my stomach hurts, my head hurts, and I just want to sleep all day.

Confession: I've been cheating on my diet since Easter. Yes, since Easter. What have I been eating? Candy. Jelly beans and chocolate. I knew it was wrong while I was doing it. I only had "a couple pieces a day" and that's how I justified it. I would have been fine had I just had a couple of pieces on ONE day but every day for two weeks, well here we are now. Yesterday was the first day that I did not have an ounce of sugar and right now I'm probably going through withdrawals honestly, which accounts for the headache, and the stomach issues are probably due to a die off that is/going to occur. I'm a mess and I'm so pissed at myself!

I knew what I was doing was going to end up hurting me but I just kept doing it like an addict! I got cocky because I had felt good for so long!

I wrote that big long post about how I didn't want to jeopardize my health with candy, which is why I filled by basket with non-edible goodies, well that was true, but I just went ahead and dug through my kids baskets! This makes me a hypocrite, and if there's one thing I can not stand it's a hypocrite.

So I have a choice here, I can beat myself up about it (which I've been doing for the last two weeks, honestly) or I can stop and get back on track.  Hopefully I have not screwed myself up to the point where I need to start SCD completely over, I would like to still be able to enjoy a salad but if I can't right now, I know I'll get back to that point again.

xoxo
Joslyn