Ramble On

I've been thinking about how and what to write for a while now but everything seems forced. I can't get into the flow of it and I'm tripping over my words.

In the past couple of weeks a lot of things happened.

First the positive news, I've started looking for a job, yes a job that will require me to leave the house and put my littlest in daycare. My mom wants to watch her, so nothing will really change for her since we all live together. I'm really excited about working! I've been applying and I'm hoping to hear something soon, if my potential employers are googling me: HI! Please hire me! I'll do a fantastic job!

Now the hard part: My Grandmother passed away the morning of May 12. Yes the day before mother's day. It was awful, the viewing, the funeral, so so sad. She was 94 years old. She had a good long life, and we should all be so lucky, but it still hurt. I had never lost a grandparent before. I think it was that much worse because I know that it's starting, the people I love are going to die. I knew that, logically, but now that it's actually here in front of me it makes it hard to breathe. It hurts. It makes me want to write a bunch of long run-on sentences. I'm just not sure what to do or how to express it properly.

I feel small and vulnerable, human, I guess. 

Last night we went and bought a van. My car (that we were able to trade in for a cool 800 bucks) was 13 years old, falling apart in chunks, and the kids were completely outgrowing it. It was a good choice and I think we got a very good deal. Hubby is saying this is my combined mother's day/anniversary gift. He'll probably find a way to also make it my birthday gift as well ;-) which is fine, I love the van! It drives great, granted, I've only had it for a day but the first impression counts right?

Also: I accidentally made the most delicious iced coffee the other day using coconut milk, instant decaf, water, ice, and honey. I'm going to try recreate it today while taking notes. My fingers are crossed, we'll see what happens!