Ramble On

I'm in bed wearing my flannel pjs and socks covered by a flannel sheet, down comforter, and a quilt freezing.

I should go to sleep but I'm just not ready yet something is keeping my awake I'm excited and a little jumpy. I feel like I need to do something not litterally something right now but something with my life. I realized a few days ago that I'm almost 30. Really, almost 30. I almost fell over.

I feel a deep and burning shame about my life right now, our living situation, the way I manage our money, how I parent my children. I need to change things, I need to change several things. I'm taking full responsibility here because it is mine to bear. I put it to God this afternoon to help me to show me what I need to do because I can't keep living this way anymore and I feel like he's answering me. I feel God working in my life in a big way and I'm excited about it, giddy, almost is the word I would use to describe it.

Watching Julie & Julia I was struck by Julie's character talking about needing a deadline because she "never finishes anything" and I was gobsmacked because I am the same exact way.

I watched the movie four times in a row. I loved it. I loved the chracter of Julie Powell so naturally I took it upon myself to look up her orginal blog and oh my I was so dissapointed. The overuse of profanity really threw me off. Now...do I swear? Of course I do (though it is something I am working on). It completely distracts me to read it and that was my entire problem I had with the blog. The swearing was too much and I quickly moved on. I will stick with the movie.

Although now I really do want to read Julia Child's My Life In France now. I downloaded the sample chapters via the kindle app on my ipod and just fell in love with her voice. It's very good, I just wish I could find a hard-copy that didn't have pictures from the movie in it. I would just download it but I think my mom would like to read it too and I don't think she's going to be squinting at my ipod to do so.

I know what I'm going to buy myself for my birthday (in July!) this year.

Because I so want to learn how to crochet and since this kit is geared towards children I most likely will be able to understand the instructions.

I just don't get why after several years of trying I just can't do it.

Admittedly the only reason I really want to learn it to make this shawl which I've been coventing for as long as I've been married.

And yes I plan on giving the little suitcase to the children, which one? No idea, I'm sure that will cause an issue.

Before felting, yes that is a 2 liter bottle of soda on the floor beside it. It. was. huge. I was so worried about it not felting down to where I wanted it.



and after



Success!!

I then went ahead and lined it and added a zipper! A zipper! Can you believe it? I still sort of can't. Sometime I will go ahead and steal it back from her and take photos of the lining and the zipper. Mom only likes purses that have a "flat bottom" and be able to sit on it's own so I went ahead and googled and googled some more until I finally came across this tutorial which I bookmarked and came back to several times throughout my process. The idea of using fun foam to line the bottom was genius and since i had several pieces of that laying around would out super well for me.

I literally finished sewing the lining in on Christmas Eve which is totally not my MO but I was so so scared to do it I just kept putting it off. That was silly and I don't intend on doing that again. Last minute things stress me out.

She had no idea that I had made it at all and was super impressed and that gave me warm fuzzies. <3 This was the only gift I knitted this Christmas (besides the stockings which weren't really gifts per-say).

Time has gotten away from me. I look at the stats and it says I haven't blogged since Dec 8. Dec 8! That seems so long ago. Really, i know it isn't but December always seems like such a long month to me.

It's so quiet here. The kids are visiting their father's family. I'm home sick and though I'm appreciating the quiet so I can rest I miss them and they've only been gone since 10AM!


Christmas went well. The kids enjoyed their gifts (as far as I could tell) and I managed to finish all the stockings they didn't rip after they were filled either which was my husband concern (I wish I knew if he were kidding or not when he said that...) and I managed to finish my mother's felted bag, even line it, the linining included three pocks, and the whole thing closes with a zipper! I'm so impessed with myself.



More later. Maybe. If I'm up to it.

I think I just did this yesterday, but not really officially. Once a month I will do an update on how I'm doing at ehow.com.

I currently have 5 articles published, 2 pending publication and have 110 views. Total earrings: 63 cents.

Hey, it's better than nothings. Three people "friended" me so I friended them back on there, networking.

I'm still pretty new at this and still trying to figure out how the site actually works.

It always seems like I'm making plans and while I'm busy doing that..well you know how it goes. Make plan then be prepared for it not to work out or something.

Anyway, now that NanoWrimo is done is full speed ahead to Christmas! I would be thrilled if I had everything ready for it. No I still need to do what the rest of the mama's of the world need to do. Wrap gift, bake, and decorate. We just decorated the tree tonight and I think I'm done Christmas shopping though it always seems like when I throw up my arms and declare "I'm DONE" I always think of another person I need to shop for and right now is no exception. Dang, I just thought of two people while I was writing this. I swear I would be lost without my google docs list that I've been updating since October I believe. It's going to be so strange to start a Christmas '10 list in a couple of months. Wow. 2010. That's insane.

I guess I should be thinking about my New Years Resolutions while I'm knitting/sewing/baking away trying to meet the xmas deadlines but I'm sort of over that whole thing. I just see it as setting myself up for failure in that department cause I never ever have kept any of my resolutions I prefer the 101 list because that's something i can do just do and check off a list of events as it were it makes it much more palatable to me.

I'm still writing for ehow and I've made a total of 0.64, I've published 5 articles. I just can't think of anything to write about half the time! I keep reading on other blogs that some people (apparently everyone else) post 3 articles a day! How do they think of what to actually write an article about? Whenever I think of one I get ridicules proud of myself for all of an hour when I realize that I'm going to have to write another and soon because I'm never going to make any good money off of this when I don't have a fresh idea in my head to save my life! It's frustrating to be me, but, I'm going to keep at it. 64 cents is better than what I was currently making, which was nothing (I actually contend that I make negative money since all I seem to do is spend it, mostly on diapers).

My biggest goal thus far has been to become really good at something, just one thing. So far I'm okay at several things and I don't actually have enough motivation to stick it out to be really good at anything. I've dabbled in pretty much everything my entire life and nothing has stuck. I keep starting blogs and I'll post a couple of times on each of them and then stop cause I just can't keep up the pretense. All the blogs I read are happy, lighthearted, Christian, good mama blogs. I just can't do that. I'd like to think that I'm all of the above things too but I just can't write about it daily and have it seem true. I think I stopped blogging at all my other blogs (besides my personal LJ) simply because I wasn't being true to myself. All this came to me suddenly in such a rush it was almost overwhemling and scared me to the point of almost doing nothing like always. Al my life I've let fear control me and although it scares me far more than I'd like to admit I'm not going to let it any more.

I'm going to make this my main blog and eventually wheen myself off the private LJ, let's see how long this lasts.

I need to get started on my xmas knitting. I've stalled out (like always) half way through. I have two more stockings to knit and a couple of hats. I'd also like to knit a bag for mom but I'm nervous about that because while she says she wants a bag she also has very specific bag needs and I don't think I can make what she wants.

I need some motivation. I'm not sure where to find it.

I have been told what my "big problem" is I was informed that it is that I'm not assertive enough.

I think my actual "big problem" with wanting to become an actual productive writer that I keep comparing myself to other people, as in I'm comparing my 1st draft to other people's final drafts. How much sense does that make?

I can't make everything come out all shiny and nice on the first try that's just not how it works even for these blog entries I end up rewriting them 2-3 times. Why do I expect less than that when I'm working on a bigger piece? I think the big problem that I'm expecting perfection on the first go round when I know (and I do KNOW this I have a degree in this for crying out loud) that rewriting is the most time consuming part of the actual writing process. I'm pressed for time right now, I mean I have three kids, I don't "have time" to sit on my butt and write and rewrite and rewrite it again but I have to make time to do it.

I can't find my pom pom maker, which means I can't finish the project I was working on for the craftster swap. I have *nothing* actually done for this swap and I was so excited to be done with one thing, hopefully it would inspire me to get the rest done but now I'm just completely stalled. Ugh.

I need to move on I have a ton of stuff in varying stages of completion but nothing is actually finish. It's frustrating.

I also have no idea what I want for xmas, and hubs wants to start shopping.

I pulled 12 ticks off the cat today.

Yes 12.

I really wish I were exaggerating.

I'm so grossed out and I keep feeling bugs crawling all over me. I think if I ever get to sleep tonight I'm going to dream of giant engorged ticks. They are so shiny when they are full of blood, like black pearls against the cats gray fur. I can never wear black pearls again. Ugh. Ticks.

I haven't been able to sleep lately, has not been good. Praying, praying and believing.

I'm tired of just being quiet. My father always told us to be polite and keep our mouths shut and I just can.not.do.it.anymore.

It all started when I came across this article on Ohdeedoh (which I clearly should not be reading, I'm not any where near their target audience) in which a father of one three year old is giving organization and storage tips for children's rooms. Ouch.

Now for a long time I've kept my fool mouth shut about things cause I never felt I really knew what I was talking about but I can safely say that I'm a little more qualified than this guy to talk about organization and storage for a kid's room.

Anyway he goes on to say (at I'm paraphrasing, this is what I got out of the article) that you shouldn't really make a big deal about your children's artwork and collections and that they are really only concerned with what is in front of them at the time. Now clearly, he's not talking about my kids even my one year old (who the whole "out of sight out of mind thing" is supposed to work on) is very perspective and if she wants something she's gonna get it now it doesn't matter if you tried to hide it behind your back. My middle girlie, who is four, is a pack rat, a collector and observer of life. She has things sprinkled all over the house but dang if she doesn't know where every one of her treasure are at any given time. My oldest, well, he's not a good example since he's basically a 14-year-old in a 7-year-old body.

So I guess the point is that this article rubbed me the wrong way, frankly, it made me angry, which is dumb. I know that I could just, ya know, stop reading it, pretending I've never seen it and move on but someone has got to say something or this shit will keep getting published, and people believe this stuff.

After the fourth day in a row of ALL three of my kids getting out the pots and giant steel bowls sitting them on the floor of the kitchen and spinning in them (yes even the 7-year-old) I went ahead and cashed in my Oompa points and bought three of these.

I've been reading about them for a couple of months now but never thought I could justify the cost, after all there are plenty of pots and giant bowls to spin in but the baby is making me nervous trying to pick everything up and I keep having visions of her dropping heavy pots on her toes so I caved.

I also did a little tiny of bit of xmas shopping in the past couple of days and finally figured out what I'm getting my dad (yay!) so now the only shopping that is left are hub's family and I'm not doing that this year (we'll see how that works out). I put it entirely in his hands and gave him a budget. Now, I have to be honest and say that I did already get gifts for his Mom, his Grandma, and his Step-Mother. All that's left is his dad, sisters, and their husbands he should be able to take care of them with little to no trouble (meaning gift cards).

I'm going to actually finish this bag. I'm so afraid of it. It's the East Meets West Kit from Knit Picks.

As I was dusting this morning with my pledge anywhere spray (I love it, I think it smells good) I was thinking that maybe I shouldn’t. I think maybe if I didn’t dust for the entire month of October it would give my Halloween decor an air of authenticity, you know all the dust and cob webs in the haunted house. I really like how the shelves turned out this year Middle Girlie decided she was afraid of everything Halloween related this year so she helped me go through all the boxes and sort the decorations all the “scary stuff” will be set up outside all the okay stuff stayed in here. I also am proud to report that I only bought two new decorations and they were both under twenty bucks (go me).


Not that we’ll be decorating much outside anyway since there is currently two inches of snow on the ground and still coming *ahem*


I was also thinking about my 101 list, it’s hard to come up with 101 things at one time at the rate I’m going I’ll have my list done by the time I’m supposed to be completing it. I’m just going to have to get started on the 25ish things I have on it and add to it as I go along. Is that cheating? Is that even okay? I’m also afraid that I’ll end up in The Guinness book of World Records for longest-hair-ever due to the fact that it looks like I’m never going to buy a house or get my kids to Disney World especially not in the next three or so years. Believe it or not I’m laughing about this, because it just seems so impossible and far away which is not the right attitude to have at all. I did decide on the piece of furniture I’m going to refinish (this is already on the list) I’ll post more about that later. I should probably also go ahead and post my list since I keep talking about it doing that will make the commitment real.

I also had a passing thought that I could order a Kaya doll and pass her off as a decoration for harvest time. I don’t know if hubs will buy that…

I got my pathology report, I am cancer free!

I'm feeling so positive right now so much stuff has been going on in and around my life I've felt streched thin and worn out. I'm so happy that I'm okay, at least in this aspect of my life (ha ha).

So in honor of this I've started a new 101 list and I've included one major thing, I'm not cutting my hair until I complete every task on the list. It will be a physical reminder to me to do what I need to do. Granted my 101 list isn't going to be a giant list of crazy-huge things, just small milestones (like knitting xmas stockings for my little family of five, and buying a house). I feel good.

I will post my list when I'm comfortable with it's length (right now I only have 25 things on it!) and of course a photo of the hair.

Going to go watch Project Runway and make some hot tea (it's been snowing here since 10AM with no end in site).

xoxo

I haven't been posting here, more over on my private LJ some things I just can not put into words. I will say this though: things have been hard.

I'm praying and I know God will lead me through this.

I have to quote Marla's post from today God answers every prayer one of three ways–yes, no, or wait.

Thank you, Marla, for that.

We got a phone call last night that there's been a reported case of Swine Flu at Oldest's school. I thought we had already had the flu, actually, Middle Girlie is still coughing and Littlest is coughing as well, I was sick as well a few weeks ago as well. Now -of course- I'm freaking out about us getting sick again. I'm praying that God will let me know if I should get the kids swine-flu shots or not. They got the regular flu vaccine already but I'm really uncomfortable about the swine flu vacc at this point. I feel like it was push out too fast and hasn't been tested in the long-term (obviously). My kids aren't "high risk" but they are still kids especially Middle Girlie and Littlest (age 4 and 1 respectively). I'm praying about it.

I'm getting my stitches out today in about an hour and I suppose I should go get ready.

I finished this awhile ago (awhile means a couple of days)

Knit for my 4 year old daughter in knitpicks wool of the andes bulky in sky and bare.



I'm well on my way to finishing my 3rd one, for my littlest girl in WotA bulky in Blackberry and Bare. I'm starting to think the purple is way too dark but we'll see what it looks like after it's blocked.

My grandmother goes to auctions and estate sales very often. She is a self proclaimed "junk collector" (I'm like this too). She knows that I knit or crochet, she often mixes them up, but just the same, years ago she got me a box of yarn and notions from an estate sale. I admit I gave most of the yarn away, and the beautiful dark wooden crochet hooks, as well as the patterns, but in the bottom of the box were several bright pink doilies. I couldn't bare to throw these away, I know how much work and love goes into hand making anything and despite the fact that I never met the lady how had crochet them, I felt a connection to her. I have no idea what I'm going to do with them but I'm keeping them around, maybe some day they'll speak to me and tell me what they want to be.

So I had surgery on my shoulder (to remove a suspect mole, I refer to it as my "angry mole" but I guess that doesn't matter any more since he is now GONE from my person and good riddance!). Of course since the stitches are on my shoulder it's been bleeding since I got home. I can't not pick up my kids, I can't not use my right arm. It's frustrating and I've always been bad at following directions. I did not shower for 24 hours after the surgery though, and I didn't scrub it roughly. The doctor covered the stitches in serti-strips so it could be water proof, which was nice, but I think it made it more itchy, if that makes sense. Something about the stickiness of the steri-strips combined with the natural itchiness of the stitches, or it's just me and I find things itchy in general. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much.

Anyway I'm going to try to knit tonight. I'm very close to finishing the chart on my oldest daughter's stocking (i really need to come up with some code-names for these kids cause this is getting confusing for me).



I placed an order with Knitpicks for the fab East meets West kit. It makes me nervous to even look at it but I really want to knit it. It will probably have to wait until after Christmas but oh, it looks like fun.

I also found a couple of things I'd like to knit for the kids for xmas so maybe if I get the stockings done in a timely fashion I can go ahead and start the other things. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I do love to give my kids something hand-made-by-mama every year. 90 days from today!

The Elegance of the Hedgehog verdict so far: eh.

I'm only on page 135 so we'll see if it picks up. I'm just not into it.

I'm a poor blogger. I know I've said that before.

We're all sick with some sort of flu variant. My youngest 1st birthday party was planned for this weekend but we may have to cancel. We're still going to have a small party but I'm in no fit state to entertain.

The stocking for my eldest has been done for a bit but I haven't started the next one.



I'm super awful at "repeat" patterns and I'm so afraid I won't finish them. I don't care if I have them done for this year I just want to have them done *sometime* ideally for next year when we're (finally) in our own home.

I don't think I've mentioned that yet, we are buying a house next year. I'm putting it out in the universe, that is the plan, and we are going to do it.

So there.

I finished another book, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I hated the beginning, got into it int he middle, and was let down the end. I'm glad I borrowed this instead of bought it (seems like a theme now).

I also read The Melissa Gilbert autobiography, Prairie Tale, which I loved. So it sort of evens out.

It is cold today. I had plans to go get started on Christmas shopping since hubs took the older two children camping for the weekend. But it's cold, as I mentioned before, and I don't want to take the baby out in this especially with all the crap going around. It looks like rain for the next couple of days as well. The best laid plans...

So instead I will do some housework, wear warm comfy clothes, and knit.



I'm working on stocking #2 in orange and white (really undyed) wool for my oldest. I let the kids pick their colors (I think I mentioned that before) which was as huge deal for me as I'm sort of (okay very) controlling. I think it looks beautiful though and not something I would have chosen at all and I sort of like that.

I just finished reading Still Alice. It was okay, the story was heartbreaking but I felt like the writing was not so good. The writing lacked emotion and depth I felt bad for Alice and her family just because of what was happening to them not because I actually cared for the characters. It might be a good read for people who really have no idea what Alzheimer and Dementia since it contains a lot of "facts" about the illness but at times I felt I was reading a child's text book. The characters were under developed and flat. I'm glad I borrow this from the library instead of buying it.

2/5 Stars.

While I don’t think that having children should be an excuse for a dirty house there is a difference between dirty and lived in. My children live in every room of this house. There are toys everywhere, if we ever move it’s going to be a task to gather all the toys in one place to actually pack them. I have a feeling that toys/games/bits will be found stuffed in every box as we unpack.

There are days when I have everything planned there are days were we all sit down and eat lunch together at 12 o’clock at the kitchen table then there’s a nap for the baby and outside play time for the older ones. We bake, we craft, then there are days like today when we are in survival mode.

My husband is out of town and my 11-month-old missed her daddy and did not sleep last night. Today has consisted of quiet restful play and a lot of DVR’d Blue’s Clues on the TV. I fed them when they were hungry we had a lot of snacks (and some caffeine for me). I sat in the play yard with the baby and built block tower after block tower she helped me put her toys in and out of her toy box. I did no housework today, oh there was laundry sitting in the washer and I should have been hung out on the line but I had no energy do anything but be there in that moment with the children not planning ahead not thinking of anything but meeting their (and my) needs. Change a diaper, get a drink, fill a sippy cup, nurse, and repeat. This is the part of being a mother that I never anticipated, getting no sleep the night before and has to be present, awake. Oh I had plans for today but if I’ve learned anything in eight years I’ve been doing this it’s to be flexible and ride it out. It hasn’t always been easy I put a lot of pressure on myself to have everything be just so and I’m a planner, plain and simple. I always have been. I’m trying to just let go, sometimes it’s nice when life just forces you to.

I taught my oldest how to knit. At the end of our lesson he did one whole row by himself. I'm so proud!

I, however, did not finish my square for the day but I did start on one and got it about 1/3 of the way done, so I'm happy. The yarn for the stockings is still sitting patiently beside my chair, I'm getting anxious to start on them!

After the kidlets went to bed I started on this:



I bought* this forever-ago but never cut it out. I set it up on the end table for the kids to find in the morning.



It's stinkin' hot here. I'm watching the tail end of Project Runway then I'm heading to bed.

* here is the link to the where to buy the mushroom cottage PDF

Today I had plans to let the kids have at the Fimo, however, it's been so.dang.hot here that I didn't want to turn on the oven. So instead we played the wii....all day. Well the kids played the Wii and I watched/changed diapers/got drinks as requested. It was a fun day. We're expecting more rain tomorrow and Friday the weekend is supposed to be clear but we'll see. I hope that I'll be able to hang the wash out on the line at some point this week.



Anyway, I got another square done today. Now I'm up to four out of the 20 I need to make.



I also got the yarn I ordered to do the Christmas stockings today, so I think I'm all set with knitting for a while. I think I'm going to knit two more squares for the afghan, then I will have knit one of each pattern, put that aside and knit a stocking, repeat until everything is done. I'm also already thinking about how I'm going to back the afghan, like I really think I'm going to finish it! I'm not terribly good with follow through, I'm hoping by documenting my progress that I'll actually be able to do it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and wearing my wrist braces at night (at least for most of the night, the braces freak the baby out).

I now have 3.5 squares done (really they are more like rectangles). I like it so far. Pretty. I might mix up the colors for the other squares, I have to do at least three of each one but dunno know we'll see how the color supplies are holding up.

Things have changed. I know now that I want to try things that I've never done before, even if it's as something as small as knitting. I want my kids to have something that I've made that maybe they'll want to keep which is why a couple of days ago I started on this blanket. I've only got one and a half squares done and I'm going to have to only work on it every-other-day due to my carpel tunnel but it's going to get done.



Now my general rule used to be not to talk about anything I was making (especially big projects) because then I'd never finish them. For some reason. That won't be happening again. I'm only going to knit things that I love from now on, why waste the time and effort on things that I won't be happy with in the end? The things on my agenda right now are this blanket and those five Christmas stockings for my family (which I have ordered the yarn for). After these are done, who knows. I feel like a weight has been lifted, it sounds so stupid but it's true.

seems to be a theme isn't it?

I got some news, some bad news, which has really changed my perspective about somethings. So I've been dealing with that at some point I might talk about it but for now I'm processing. My youngest has also started to walk so it's been...interesting around here to say the least.


Yesterday we made pickles ala the Toby Show. We tried them this afternoon and they are YUMMY I was very nervous because I do not generally like pickles but everything tastes better when it's home made (and home grown).

The cucumbers were from my uncle's garden. I want to share a jar of the pickles with him, hopefully he'll enjoy them.

We also made woopie pies (if you're not from PA you might not know what I'm talking about)

they are cake-like cookies filled with cream. I made them gluten free and filled them with my grandma's fruit dip (YUM). I'll be posting the recipe soon.


Also, I've been knitting. For a long time I've been wanting to create some Christmas stockings for my family but I've been too intimidated to even start. However due to my news I decided I better just get started so I picked up some cheap yarn from Joann's and just jumped in with both feet. It turned out SO WELL.

I followed this pattern. Now I'm planning on ordering some yarn from knitpicks and knitting five more. My kids want to pick their own colors but the snowflakes are going to remain white. I think they'll turn out well *crosses fingers*

I also want to do this.

We made fairy houses.

Today our family cat passed away. He was very old, nearly 17, which is very old for an outside cat living in the woods, so I am told. I got Morgan when I was 10 years old, he has met all my children and I am glad for that.

I'm sad.

My littlest is going to be 8 months old next week. I can't believe it. Time has gone by so fast. This post from Soulemama has me thinking about it. I know that out time nursing is growing shorter with each passing session. It's hard to stay upset at the lack of sleep when I realize that she'll be one so so soon. She's still getting up 3x a night to nurse and we're having roof work done so we're all up by 7:15AM due to the noise. It's been a rough couple of week on the sleep front.

Today is Wednesday, only 3 more Wednesdays until the end of the school year. Today it's supposed to rain, so we have The Tale of Despereaux to watch. If it's not raining (it's sunny right now!) we might take a trip down to the lake, our first of the year. It's going to be cold but we're used to really never backing up the winter clothes around here so we're always well prepared for cold weather.

As for now, I'm still in my pj's, as are both the girls. It's hard to get motivated, there is some significant family drama going on this morning that I can not talk about but never the less is taking a toll on me. I've prayed about it and I feel like that's all I can do about it right now.

My hands are tingling. I just finished dying some play silks. I had visions of the freshly dyed silks drying on the clothes line and fluttering in the breeze as I stepped outside, clothes pins in hand, and starting pining the first (and largest) silk onto the line I noticed that the picnic table had water droplets on it. I leaned over the porch railing and held out my hand, small warm droplets. Dang.

So they are in the basement laying on the drying rack. The big one is in the dyer, on low heat, hopefully it'll be okay.

They took the dye nicely. I used food coloring with a splash of vinegar and dyed them using the microwave method that I use to dye yarn. The kids are not impressed as of yet, since when they are wet the silks are nearly see-through and almost not there. I think the largest silk looks the nicest, it's light light blue and is exactly how I envisioned it turning out. Hopefully it won't look too white once it's dry but I think it's alright.

I'm thinking about getting a couple more blanks to dye for xmas but I'm not sure that my friends would like these for their children. I'm anticipating the question "what do they do with them?".

I was never really into play silks cause, well, I thought they looked boring. I ordered a rainbow one from atoygarden for my littest's Easter basket on a whim and she loves that thing dearly, it goes with her everywhere.

So I finally ordered a couple of blanks from Dharma trading co to dye and the kids have been playing with them for about an hour now non stop. I got one super big one and they made a tent (using some play clips) and with the smaller ones they've been tying to themselves as pieces of clothing (a hat, eye patch, a belt, and a bandage for a pretend wound). It's nuts. I haven't even dyed these yet. Now there is a great debate going on about what color to actually make them.

I made these fairy jars for my daughter's 4th birthday party as centerpieces. I made five which was a good idea because a couple of people wanted to take them home and I was able to keep one for myself and one of my little girl for a decoration in her room, on a high shelf because these are glass. I was toying with the idea of making one with a plastic container as well for her but we'll see how this one holds up in her room.


*ahem*

How to make a fairy jar.


Ingredients:
* a clear jar with a lid
* a photo that will fit into the jar
* small wood block
* fuzzy yarn
* ribbons
* fabric flower
* flat back marble
* scrap book paper
* sparkles and spangles
* glitter
* glue
* scissors

Here we go! Cut out your picture, embellish with glitter and glue your little fairy to the small wood block. I took a picture of my daughter dressed up as a fairy so I didn't have to fashion her wings.



Next I take my clean jar (using a spaghetti sauce jar here) and glue the wooden block to the bottom of the jar. I usually just drop it in then use the tips of my scissors to push it down and make sure it's nice and stuck.



Then I cut a length of fuzzy yarn and pushed it down into the jar around the wooden block. I tried to make sure the block was covered with the yarn it gives the appearance of a nest.




Next I threw in a handful of star shaped sequins to give it some sparkle.



I took some sparkly scrap book paper and cut a bit of a rectangle with it. This then gets placed in the jar for a background.




I also had these little star ornaments left over from xmas time so I put the string against the threads of the jar and twisted on the lid.



Then to embellish the top of the jar I first take apart the fake flower and glue it one layer at a time to the lid of the jar, finish it off by gluing a button or flat marble to the middle of the flower to hold it all down (you could also use a button or anything with a flat side)



If you need to (like I did) wrap a piece of ribbon around the lid of the jar to cover up any writing and there you go!



(The little fairy in the tub beside the fairy jar is an embellished photo of my youngest daughter. I added the wings and glued her to a wooden block.)

In the next week I will be posting:

* a review on the things we bought from A Toy Garden
* a how-to guide for a fun center piece for a Fairy Party
* a fancy cake
* and other general rambling as I prepare more gift-guides (I'm getting ready for Christmas already, not shopping just brain storming ;-)

Happy Easter to all those who celebrate!

... how to make a super cute bunny cake for Easter but I burnt both my cakes and made a huge mess in the kitchen. The downstairs of the house still smells like burning.

I'm so thankful my husband said he'd stop and pick up something for the kids for dinner. I'll try the cake again later (maybe). For now I have to go boil some eggs and finish cleaning up the kitchen (argh).

Praising the Lord for what I have right now and praying for my LJ friends who are struggling right now.

I almost ordered some things from Chasing Fireflies for my daughter's birthday but having never ordered from them before I got nervous. So I googled and I found some bad things. It's a shame because they do carry some very lovely (and spendy!) things. I would be a shame if the quality wasn't up to par.


gifts for a 4-year-old girl by jayamaree on Polyvore.com

I guess I'm going to have to find a different place to buy her pettiskirt (really want to get her one for xmas!).

My daughter's birthday is April 22. She will be 4 years old (I know I posted the other day that she was 4 already, but that was a lie..). I'm trying not to spend right now but I love love to go to shops online and fill a cart. Today I clicked on over to Let's Explore and with my little one in mind filled my cart. I know she'd love any of these things, and this way I can keep them in mind for when I start Christmas shopping in the fall!


Gifts for a 4-year-old girl by jayamaree on Polyvore.com

Featured above:
1. Silk Fairy Skirt $24.99

2. Birds of the World Rubbing Plates $8.99

3. Crayon Rocks $6.99

4. Child's First Stencil Set $14.99

5. Silk Wings $24.99

in the country by jayamaree on Polyvore.com

I bought this game with my 4 year old in mind. We play a lot of games and not very many of them are for her age group that would keep the whole family entertained. My 7-year-old will not play Candy Land, it's boring to him and hungry hungry hippo is way too loud and those marbles go everywhere so I had to find something else.

I've had In The Country in mind for quite some time and when I went to oompa.com to order some Easter gifts I added this game to my cart as well. I felt it was a little pricey ($34.99) but thought I'd try it out anyway.

So far we've played it seven times in a period of three days. Needless to say we love it, all of us, even my husband found it entertaining. First of all the board is a puzzle which gives the game another entertaining element. My daughter loved to put it together and now says that it's her job (since it's her game) to put the puzzle board together eat time. The cardboard it's printed on is very heavy and seems like it will stand up to years of use.

Now actual game play, you move in "tractor spaces" genius! The tractors are round disks of cardboard which you place on the board between your figure and where you want to go, you move your figure the length of these pieces. I'm not sure my explanation makes sense but it allows the freedom to move around the entire space of the board. I think it's brilliant!

The game pieces are real wood and heavy, even the dice. The cow is probably my favorite piece that along with the small loaves of bread. I have to be careful because I know these will disappear into my daughter's room if given the opportunity so we've been very careful to pack it up completely after each round of game play (the bags of "wheat" are actually little bean bags, sooo cute, and nice to squish!).

The game changes each time as well, which a bunch of different recipe-goal cards (not just the apple pie recipe which is in the discription). I'm sure this game will see many many more uses in our household. It's so much fun to play and the pieces are all so sweet. I'm so glad I took a chance on this game!

Yesterday was Wednesday and we did our project. I bought two large canvases (did I spell that right?) and two paint pallets (cause they can't share!) and supplied them with my acrylic craft paints that I've hoarded through out the years.

I poured the paint, handed them the brushes, and let them have at it.



I was really proud of myself because I tend to micromanage and I really want them to feel free to express themselves, even if it's messy, and even if it's not a way I would prefer them to do things.



I love them (the paintings and the children).

Do you get it?



As soon as I was able to I had to buy this onesie for my littlest one (who is modeling it above). The onesie is of good quality 100% cotton (because of my daughter's sensitive skin I won't dress her in anything but cotton right now). 10% of the proceeds from each sale goes to the American Breast Cancer Foundation. I opted for the short sleeve onesie ($16) so my baby could wear it all year 'round (at least until she grows out of it) and they come in a bunch of colors. I really like the brown!

Buy them here. My only complaint is that I wish they came in larger sizes (up to 24 months)!!

I placed an order with A Toy Garden yesterday, in the afternoon. I want to say shortly before dinner time (6 o'clock at our house) and I got an email notification today that it had been shipped.

Holy wow that was quick!

I've been visiting this site since last October and just got around to ordering some goodies now. Most of it will be put away until some-other-day (of course I say that now but I have a really hard time hiding things from my kids, especially when I'm super excited about them!) but the rainbow silk is for my 6-month-old's Easter basket.

*squee* this will be my first, official, play silk. Yes my family is a play-silk virgin and I am super excited to see this and the rest of the goodies coming out way. I just hope I can hide them from the kids for a while.

More when the stuff shows!

Before I buy anything I always always google for reviews, however I never write them myself. Lazy? Maybe, or maybe because I thought my opinions were sort of worthless (I have issues). So I'm going to start doing these now because I have some products that I freaking love and would love to share with the WWW. I could just start posting *right now* about a list of things but I won't, I think it would end up being too much to wade through at once so I'll just start with the most important thing in world right now. Lotion.

Yes lotion.

My baby is 6-months-old and suffers from eczema. For the past three months (after the eczema just appeared) we've been trying everything to help her out the poor thing was bleeding night after night from just laying on the one patch on her face. I did a lot of research and took the chance on the Mustlea brand of products.


ezcema - by jayamaree on Polyvore.com

Every third day I bathe the baby with the cream cleanser, and wash her hair with the foaming shampoo. Actually, I do that in reverse. I put the shampoo on her hair and let it do it's thing as I'm washing the rest of her body. The shampoo won't work unless you leave it on for the required two minutes. After her bath she gets covered head to toe in the Moisturizing Cream, which really isn't a cream at all it's more of an ointment, it's very runny and makes the baby a bit sticky. This is what's working for us for now, along with a bit of steroid cream (which was prescribed) for when her flares get really bad (I'm really trying to avoid using it but sometimes I'm finding it's necessary).

These products are expensive, but I've found that they really do go along way. I've been using the shampoo since she was born and I'm still on the same bottle. That's three baths a week times six months, well you do the math, the point is it lasts a long time (of course my daughter does not have a whole lot of hair). I've linked to everything in my post but these products are available from drugstore.com, bathandbodyworks.com and some larger B&BW stores locally (ours did not carry them).

It has been pointed out to me that xmas in our house has gotten way out of hand. The children got about 18 gifts each, that included everything from Santa, us (mom & dad), and my parents. My brother also brought them two things each.

So I guess they each got 20 things. It didn't seem like so much to me because they got a lot of books and clothes. I love books and clothes and those are things that get a lot of use around here and I wrap everything individually, I love the look of a huge pile of wrapped gifts.

As you can tell I was offended by my husband's comments. In one way I feel like he was in a bad mood but in another way maybe he's right. I'm still smarting about it and it's been nearly three months now.

I am not shopping all year 'round this year as it leads to way-too-much-stuff and the kids don't really know what they want until closer to the event anyway.

True confession: we spent over 2000 dollars on xmas gifts this year. We buy for 20 people (including ourselves and the children). We just do not have the means to keep doing this. We need to cut it in at least half this year for sure.

I always second guess myself "is this enough" for certain people. Frankly, it hurts and stresses me out to even think about spending all that money on people that really don't appreciate the time or effort it takes to pick something out for them. I'm seriously considering doing the cop-out of gift cards for most of them and I've been admittedly against gift cards for years. I'm just tired of it all, just so very tired.

I really want it to be different this coming year especially for the kids it was so so stressful this year, for me, dealing with my husband's celiac diagnoses, and being expected to bake twelve kinds of cookies (not to mention pies, and cream puffs!) with no help. I didn't even make sugar cookies with my children. I also had a baby in September of last year so between breastfeeding and everything else i just feel like i lost it and I hate that I'm so upset with myself about it. I hate beating myself up about things like that and I do it all the time.

I hurt. I need to sleep.