Ramble On

My Viao finally bit it, so I've only had the mac (can't get my photos on to it) and my iPod. I finally realized tonight that there was an app to blog (and really what isn't there an app for?).

A lot has been going on the past couple of weeks and I felt like I was being pulled in several directions at once but things are finally slowing down and I feel like i'm finding time to catch my breath.

My littlest turned 3 last week, this is the first of my children's third birthdays that I have not been pregnant with another one. It's finally starting to sink in that I'm not going to have any more children and it's been hard on me. I'm not sure how to feel or what to do with myself. I'm thinking about what I'm going to do when my littlest starts school. It's scary! I have been so in the moment with the children for the past ten years just focusing on caring for them not considering the fact that eventually there won't be an infant to care for, that these children on day will all be out of the house at the same time and I may not have to vacuum twice a day (at least not on week days). Crazy for me to consider what to do all day, and I'm pretty freaked out!

I typed a really long post on this bitty iPod screen and published it on the wrong blog! Lovely! I'll fix it tomorrow. Have to sleep now!

My son has officially been diagnosed with Vitiligo, as I mentioned previously, I expected this but it hit me harder than I anticipated. For the past two days I pretty much moped around and felt sorry for him, for me, and for our family.

Vitiligo (vit-ih-LI-go) is a condition in which your skin loses melanin, the pigment that determines the color of your skin, hair and eyes. Vitiligo occurs when the cells that produce melanin die or no longer form melanin, causing slowly enlarging white patches of irregular shapes to appear on your skin.

I know. I know that it could be worse. I know that having this condition is not the end of the world and there are (some) treatments that could work for him. I think it's important to take the time to grieve when these like this happen. It's okay to feel bad, but it's important to stop too.

Today I'm feeling better about the situation and I'm going to support my son in whatever he decides to do in terms of treating his illness. Granted, he's only 9 years old, but I don't feel comfortable about making decisions related to his condition with out talking to him and letting him decide ultimately what is best for him. It's his skin, there are spots on his face. It's not something he can just cover up with clothing.

Tomorrow I take my son to the dermatologist to see if he's got Vitaligo, as we all suspect. One of my cousins (ironically, my son's God mother) let me know yesterday that she has it as well so now I'm almost 75% sure that's what it is.

I'm so tired of everyone being sick/ill/waiting to be diagnoised with someting. My mom's appointment at John Hopkins is next week as well, I think once everything is said and done I'm going to need to go somewhere warm and stare at the ocean. I just need a break. I feel like I can't breathe right now everything seems to be coming at me so quickly.

I'm trying my best to stay calm and too keep my own diease in check, but when I come here, it just all pours out through my fingertips. I hope you understand. I need somewhere to let it out.

xoxo

My children have recently become obsessed with the film My Neighbor Totoro, it's adorable and funny and just a really great film. In the movie there are these little black fuzzy blobs of dirt called the "Soot Gremlins" (I keep misspeaking and calling them Sprites, but in this translation they are Gremlins). My kids were so enthralled with these little critters they tried to be sly and started conversions with "you know...you could probably knit those..they don't look they'd be too hard" so my oldest daughter and I headed to Micheal's and picked up some black fun fur and I knitted them up. Here is the pattern that I came up with, it's super easy and quick the fun fur hides a lot of errors so don't worry if you've never worked with it before!

Materials:
Yarn: 1 skein Furry yarn in black (I used Fun Fur)
1 skein worsted weight yarn in black (I used Vanna's Choice)

Needles: size 7 US circular needles (to magic loop)

Misc: 1 pair size 9 safety eyes
small amount of poly fill for stuffing

With the two yarns held together cast on 20 stitches. Join and work in the round for 12 rows.

Cast off all your stitches.

Turn the piece inside out (the purl side of the work is usually more fuzzy, if you like he Knit side, by all means use that) attach your safety eyes. Sew up the top of the Soot gremlin. Stuff the piece and sew up the bottom.

You're done!