Ramble On

Two doctor's appointments this coming week: one today, one tomorrow. Today is my primary care doctor, tomorrow is the GI where I will make it a point to tell her that I can not afford 118 dollars a month for my medication, ask for samples, and any sort of assistance card she can point out to me.

I just filled out the forms to get medical assistance via the state. I never want to do that and I felt sick the entire time. Despite having okay health insurance via a major employer in our state, it just isn't enough. I find it humorous, that I've been pretty healthy my entire life, I never had to worry about this stuff because my father worked for a major medical care provider and we had great insurance while I was growing up. Then I got married and we were in the Air Force, now a lot of people complain about TriCare but we never had any issues with it and never had to pay anything out of pocket. Now we're in the "real world" paying a good percentage of my husbands salary every month for health insurance that as of Jan 1 will be covering LESS than what they did previously. The cost of course, is going up. I'm seriously tearing up right now. It's just like a giant hole, ya know? Try to get ahead, save some money, try to do right and then it all just goes away. One thing after another.

I got a letter in the mail today letting me know that my school loan payment was now 16 days past due. I was confused. I went online immediately and made the payment and beat myself up for the rest of the day as to why this happened.

This is the second time in my life that I haven't made a payment on time. I make it a priority to be on time and on budget, what is going on with me?

Finally this evning I sat down here, on my newly colored laptop (baby went after it with a crayon, only on the front. It's personalized now!) as thought to do a search in my email. Well I did go online on the 30th of January and schedule a payment...for March 1! I did not pay attention to the date I was clicking through so fast.

I'm taking this as a message that I need to slow down, something I've been noticing for a while. I've been getting very distracted lately. I go through the motions but I'm not really there. I'm not sure how to explain it.

I'm going to be thankful that this message came through something that could be easily taken care of. I'm listening.